On the 4th of July 2008 I performed The Rap Canterbury Tales at the New Chaucer Society conference in Swansea, Wales. I was scheduled to be the entertainment at the pub night at the end of the conference, but I asked if I could also come for the day to attend some of the lectures and get caught up on the state of global Chaucer studies.

The second session I attended was a roundtable discussion on “Teaching Chaucer” featuring short presentations from six distinguished professors. To my surprise, I was mentioned by name at least half a dozen times in the various presentations. The first speaker came out strongly against me, denouncing an over-reliance by teachers on superficial pop-culture adaptations of Chaucer, from the TV dramatizations to the notorious Rap Canterbury Tales, which was now being put to use in a dangerously high number of classrooms. Some of the professors later came to my defense, while others cautioned that the rap adaptation should be used only sparingly, lest it unduly influence the students’ interpretation of the Tales.

As this debate transpired I kept sliding down lower in my seat trying not to be noticed, since they were clearly oblivious to my presence. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a fly on the wall at your own funeral? Well, as it turned out one person had noticed me coming in. After the presentations the session moderator, Dr Helen Cooper from Cambridge, smiled and said: “A fascinating debate about modern vs traditional approaches to teaching Chaucer! Well, it may come as a surprise to many of you, but Baba Brinkman happens to be in the room right now, and I’m hoping he’ll be willing to comment on the ongoing discussion of his work.” A hundred and fifty bespectacled professors’ heads swiveled around in surprise to stare directly at me like a flock of owls, as I gave them a nervous wave, “hi everybody”.

So I said: “It’s pretty surreal for me to hear you all debating the merits of my rap adaptation as a pedagogical tool, especially since that’s definitely not the purpose I wrote it for. I’m happy that it’s found a home in the classroom and that some teachers have found it useful, but my original motivation when writing The Rap Canterbury Tales wasn’t to help you to teach Chaucer; it was to wrest Chaucer away from you people and bring him to a wider audience outside the classroom. That’s why I brought the show to the Edinburgh Festival and to dozens of other festivals around the world. I thought it was a tragedy that The Canterbury Tales was only being enjoyed by people with a medieval studies education, when the Tales have a universal appeal and deserve to have a universal audience. So, use the rap version at your own risk, and keep in mind that from performing this show to tens of thousands of people around the world over the past five years, I am now the face of Chaucer, not you all. I think the tales should be studied because they are loved, not loved because they are studied, and I’m trying to make people love the Tales again. So come see the show tonight and you’ll see how I do that.”

That night I got to perform the rap in a crowded room full of about a hundred of the world’s most eminent (beer-drinking) Chaucerians, and from the crowd’s overwhelmingly positive response I assume the “jangelers” must have either been converted into fans or gone to bed early. It was just another day in the trenches for a rapping medievalist.

The Rap Canterbury Tales by Baba Brinkman
Talon, £18.50 Buy the book

The Wife of Bath's Tale: rap adaptation by Baba Brinkman

Back in the days of the dark ages,
When King Arthur made his mark, and courageous
Knights-with tight young pages-embarked
On outrageous quests and fought for ladies' hearts,
The shady parts among the hills and knolls
Were filled with fairies, elves, and trolls,
And dwarves were known to dwell in holes,
And nymphs to succour willing souls.
These thrilling folds, in time, emerged as
Badly out of line with churches,
Which cursed all fairy-kind and purged us,
To cleanse us of our primal urges.
To try and discourage us from growing tense,
The hills were filled with "holy men,"
And now women could lie alone, content
Without the old incubi, only them.
And so it went that from King Arthur's court,
A strong young warrior marched his horse,
And through the woods he charted his course,
And he met a young girl in the heart of the forest;
And with heartless force, in less than a minute he
Committed an act of criminal obscenity,
And since there was no one else in the vicinity,
No one prevented him from taking her virginity.

This sinister deed was so repugnant
That the knight was thrown in the castle dungeon
To await judgment, but what should be done with him?
King Arthur favoured capital punishment,
A tactic of governments that live in fear,
But the queen, Gwenevere, whispered in his ear:
"My Lord, his remorse is not insincere;
I suggest we let the poor kid live a year.
In fact, give him here; let me deal with him."
And King Arthur granted her appeal, a decision
That revealed he was a man of vision and real wisdom,
That is, a husband able to still listen.

And from his steel prison the knight was brought
To the queen, who said, "Boy, you're in a tight spot:
Your guilt is certain, but your life is not.
Your head might head right to the chopping block,

Or you might just walk, and get clemency,
But only if you can tell me what women need.
"Answer me what it is every woman's tendency
To want, and I'll suspend sentencing.
Now let your penance bring you some cheer;
Come here again after one year,
And then I want to hear from you some clear
Response; now, I suggest you run, dear."
And Gwenevere gave him his walking papers,
And the knight thanked her, and set off on this caper
To save his life, and began to talk to his neighbours'
Wives, and got them to list off their favourites,
Like a census taker; he took to the streets,
And spent the year asking every woman he'd meet:
"If you could have just one thing, what would it be?"
But you wouldn't believe the diversity;
They just couldn't agree; once asked,
Some said this, and some said that.
They said: confidence, compliments, comfort, class,
Compassion, fashion, or for their passion to come back…

See the next page for the original version:

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