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MySpace and Facebook sites have created a fashion for collecting friends instead of stamps or coins, the conference was told. Users compete with one another to rack up more online friends than anyone else, listing them in the same way that they might show off a new car or the latest gadget.
Similarly, there is competition to be able to boast the highest number and the most impressive “trophy friends” — celebrities such as Lily Allen who use MySpace and other sites.
The practice of collecting friends, dubbed “MySpace whoring”, is part of a social revolution that is “changing the nature of human relationships”, the conference was told. Whereas relationships traditionally started with a face-to-face meeting, fans of social networking sites can make new contacts at the click of a mouse.
Will Reader, of Sheffield Hallam University, told the association that the virtual world had enabled people to make many more friends than they would in the three-dimensional world. Users of the social networking sites say that one in ten of their close friends has been made in the virtual domain.
Most people have about five close friends and know about 150 people in total, most of them acquaintances with whom they are on nodding terms.Cyber-users have the same number of close friends but many more casual acquaintances. Dr Reader was speaking yesterday about the initial findings into a study of how MySpace and Facebook are changing relationships.
He said that the biggest impact was being experienced in the number of “casual relationships on virtual nodding terms”. Sitting at a computer was no longer a solitary act: the computer could be a social hub bringing people together from all over the world.
“The web was solitary. This is bringing back the social side of human interaction.” But, he said, this had been carried to an extreme by many users who went by quantity rather than quality and had become the trainspotters of the virtual world.
“To have in excess of 1,000 friends is not uncommon,” he said. “It can be a bit like trainspotting. They just want to get as many people on to their list as possible.
“It does upset some people. They start by feeling good that they appear to have made a new friend only to find out that they are simply being added to a list. They’re not wanted for themselves; they’re wanted to extend a list.”
This and the nature of online friendship had spawned “the phenomenon of defriending” as a means of severing relationships. Instead of having a row or pointedly refusing to speak to a friend whose views or behaviour were unacceptable, they could simply have their names taken off a list of friends.
Dr Reader said that it added a dynamic to the end of friendship: “Normally a friendship will fade out. You gradually lose contact. On these sites you remove them. It’s a type of spring clean and the other person knows they’ve been removed.”
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aaah...I see now! so when my son said to me last week that he had 1,000 'friends' on his myspace thing he was boasting?
At the time I thought that was pretty sad.
I was out playing with my real mates at his age.
I suppose this is what passes for 'progress'
Phill Barlow, Wirral, England
I agree, but I use myspace as a cheaper version of texting and don't add people for the sake of it. I also deny adds off people I don't know.
Tyler Knowl, Manchester,
Lucia Stefan,
Facebook does not automatically "spam" your friends as you say. It asks you if you would like to access your web mail address book - of course you have to provide your email sign in details to do this - and then, on your consent (you have to click a button), it emails everyone you haven't deselected on your behalf.
There is plenty of opportunity to opt out and you are not being forced to supply your email sign in details. Maybe you should read the instructions on the page next time. Do you also find that your friends continuously get Zombie invites from you too because you keep accidentally "spamming" them from the Zombie application?
Bert, London,
You have to read to terms of service. Facebook is a business that makes money. To think of it as anything else is foolhardy. It is one of the best targeted advertising models around. You can opt out of some of it's snooping, but it is somewhat hidden. They do not breach anything, you agree to their terms of service when you sign up (remember that long thing you didn't read and clicked ok for?). If you don't want to spam your friends, don't sign up.
Jamie, toronto, on
Lucia, you are mistaken;
Facebook asks if you would like it to scan your address book (and you have to type in your email account password) - it then lets you choose which friends you wish Facebook to send emails to on your behalf. If you did not understand this then you need to read the words above the 'OK' button.
Lucia is right to be concerned by such a matter, but it's not Facebook that has done this, it's "Quechup".
Anyway, this article simply rolls out a concept that we already know about - web freindships have been analysed by science since the mid 90s - are we really able to claim it's 'news' that people collect 'friends' in big lists?
Wedge, Birmingham,
I do myself have a lot of friends on myspace. Around 11,000 but its not to say hey look at me I'm cool! For me its so I can promote my html website and also other things I do on the net like My photography work. The more people I have on my list the more people will see it. Just like a band would do.
Stephen Robinson, Skelmersdale, Lancashire
When joining, Facebook copies all your contacts' email addresses from your email application and sends invitations to them to join Facebook. It is spamming under another name and it is done automatically, without a proper consent. I had this experience a couple of weeks ago when I inadvertently spammed all my friends and acquaintances with Facebook invitations. The above is a breach of Data Protection Act and media should highlight this fact.
Lucia Stefan, Ispra, Italy