Perched on stools in a chic purple and black bar, an enormous plasma screen on the wall behind us, we stop mid-sip in our tutored wine tasting as a loud wail rends the air. All heads bend instinctively to consult the industrial-sized walkie-talkies we’ve been given as baby monitors. “It’s one of mine,” one mother shouts and I revel in the knowledge that, for once, it’s someone else’s child.

We’re on a toddlers’ house party in southwest France – think of a ski chalet atmosphere where the essential accessory is not a pair of skis but a child under five. Because we are all well-schooled in the world of baby poo, nobody has a problem with screaming, tantrum-throwing tots.

Not that there are many tantrums at Château Rigaud – why would there be in a place with a 16m (50ft) gallery bursting with toys as a play-room, and grounds that hold not only a pool and swings and slides, but also a real live tractor? Add to that a cinema with five sofas to cuddle up on and watch Bob the Builderand you have a band of happy munchkins.

But our sojourn in this creeper-clad, medieval château close to St Emilion and the vineyards of Bordeaux is not all about the children. That is clear from the minute I walk into one of the eight bedrooms. It’s enormous, with dark floors, a four-poster bed, stucco ceiling and a chandelier. There are fresh flowers and the bathroom has a clawfoot bath and gorgeous toiletries.

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If I want to, I can luxuriate here all morning, leaving my son, Christian, in the hands of the Château Rigaud nannies: morning childcare is included in the price. In the evenings, after an afternoon spent running around the grounds together and a healthy high tea for Christian, I bathe and bed him in these sumptuous surroundings, then head down to the hip bar.

There is no rush into dinner: food isn’t served until the last parent is down – nice if you’re settling a fractious child, though I found the late nights a bit of a pain. But sitting around the long wooden dining table and eating good food as the wine flows freely, the atmosphere is convivial.

As I chat about the drinks industry to Wendy and Allan Dickson from Tarporley, Cheshire, I’m relieved it’s not all about the children, although because both Christian and their son, Max, are not yet two, we do touch on toddler milestones.

“I was a bit concerned about whether it would be hard work at dinner, but it’s not a problem at all,” said Wendy, echoing my thoughts. “We love it here because we got used to staying in nice boutique hotels prechildren and didn’t want to compromise postchildren.”

There certainly is no compromise at Château Rigaud. The English owners, Anna and Andrew Barwick, have created an atmosphere that blurs the line between a boutique hotel and staying with a friend, though if I had friends with guestrooms like this, I’d be staying there all the time. It’s a well-thought-out formula, with plenty to put edgy parents at their ease, including little extras such as the blackout curtains lining the enormous bedroom windows – essential for dawn-waking babes.

“We have kids of our own and knew that going on holiday can be more stressful than staying at home,” Anna tells me. “Chalet holidays are really successful and what we have done is just an extension of that.”

Like staying at a mate’s house, Château Rigaud isn’t 100 per cent childproof. The creaking old wooden staircase has no baby gate and plenty of gaps to trip up little feet. Most worrying, the pool is not fenced, though in accordance with French law, it does have an alarm.

It’s lovely to have the pool, though even in April, as it’s heated to 26C. On the last morning, I leave the pool-side and make the short journey into St Emilion, a cobbled filmset of a town, where every second shop sells wine. After touring the monolithic church, I pick up a tasty wine jam. I return, hook up with Christian and we join the others for a wonderful spread of cold meat platters, quiche and salad under the enormous chestnut tree on the lawn.

My son, normally a fussy eater, tucks into the food with gusto, then joins Allan and Max as they knock a football around the lawn, the other children running around together. If I closed my eyes and squinted a little, I could almost feel I was with my extended family.

The feeling is mutual. “We wondered if we were crazy to go on holiday with other people’s kids,” says Emma Bacon, from Pangbourne, who is with her husband and two children. “But it worked really well because there is so much space and everyone is so relaxed.”

It’s certainly been a lovely few days, though few is just that – the house parties only run for four nights rather than a week. To put it in the words of Jasmine Heddle Bacon, 3: “I don’t want to go home.”

Need to know

Château Rigaud (00 33 5 57 40 78 59, www.chateaurigaud.co.uk ) in Mouliets et Villemartin offers baby and toddler house parties from March 5-9 and 12-16, April 30-May 4 and May 17-22. A specialised house party focusing on food will be held in February half-term. Rates are from about £178.50 a night for a single-parent family to £335 a night for a family of four in two rooms, including morning childcare, all meals and drink. Bookings can also be made through www.babyfriendlyboltholes.co.uk

Getting there The château is about 40 minutes from Bordeaux. EasyJet (www.easyjet.com) has flights from Luton and Bristol to Bordeaux from £34.02 return.

Getting around Holiday Autos (0870 400 0010, www.holidayautos.co.uk) has car hire from £19 a day.

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